We hung a right-hand turn and looked at the question on the instruction
sheet, which read: "How many `stone' do you see?"
Stretching across the two blocks ahead of us were more than a dozen
boulder-sized landscaping rocks. So we inched ahead and started counting.
Ah, but the question said "stone," not stones, and more to the
point, the word was in quotes. Meaning the trick was to find not actual
stones, but the word stone written on a sign somewhere.
Voila. There was a free-standing Bridgestone Tire sign, plus a Firestone
dealer in plain view. Forget the rocks; the correct answer was: two.
Such was our introduction to the world of Gimmick Road Rallying, a
year-round enterprise that is more about out-guessing the nefarious Rallye
Master (who designs the rallye and its "gotcha" challenges) than
it is about driving skills.
In fact, as I learned the hard way at a rallye in July, the driver of a Road
Rallye (enthusiasts prefer the old-fashioned spelling) has arguably the most
boring job of the team.
Can you drive fast? Negotiate hairpin turns? Stop on a dime?
Nobody cares. Gimmick rallies aren't about speed; arriving first earns you
zilch. The goal is to execute all the instructions faithfully and answer all
the questions correctly.
Which isn't easy. Rallye Masters, who apparently are part genius, part
sadist, try their best to trick you, and often succeed.
For instance, in the July "Field of Dweebs" rallye, we were asked
if we saw "Illinois 53 North." And indeed there were several signs
to that effect. But wait. Those signs read "North Illinois 53,"
and in the insanely precise code of the rallyist, you either see the sign
exactly as described in the question or you don't see it at all. We answered
yes. We were wrong.
There are all sorts of rallye groups around the Chicago area, many geared
around a specific automobile (a Corvette-owners club, for instance), but one
of the most active is the Chicago Rallye Center, an umbrella organization
for four rallye clubs. "The CRC gets us all together for scheduling
rallies and setting up rules so we're all working on the same page,"
says Jeff Lurie of Round Lake, a Rallye Master for Brand X Rallye Team, who
has been rallying for 28 years.
The CRC members host 18 to 23 rallies per year. Summer is generally the slow
time for these events--family duties and vacations greatly reduce the number
of participants--but the busy season is just getting underway. There's one
rallye this weekend, two in September, four in October and three in November
prior to the highly popular Christmas Light Tour by the Wheels Rallye Team,
in which Rallye Master Dennis Dorner of Winnetka routes participants through
neighborhoods with elaborate Christmas decorations in mid-December.
Joining a rallye is simple and cheap. Just show up to register (typically 6
p.m. on a Saturday) with your fee, which usually is $17 per car (an upcoming
event is charging $30, but it's a charity benefit). Stuff as many people as
you like into your vehicle; Lurie says one time a large group competed in a
bus (which broke down).
It doesn't matter if you've never done this before; there's a 15-minute
Beginners' School that teaches you the basics, and the people running the
rallye are happy to answer questions at any time.
And while the goal is to mislead you, you're unlikely to get lost; the
instructions include periodic reminders of where you should be ("All
cars southbound on York from Thorndale") so even if you've veered way
off-course, you can re-orient yourself quickly. And, of course, everyone
knows the finish point (ours was at the local Barnaby's restaurant), so you
can always give up and order a pizza.
Teams are given three hours to complete the rallye; there are point
penalties if you exceed the time limit (so speed isn't entirely a
non-factor), but frankly, anybody who needs the entire three hours isn't
going to contend for a trophy anyway. (We wrapped up in about two hours.)
And there are trophies for the top finishers. To keep things on an even
keel, players are grouped into one of four classes, based on
experience--which is one reason that my team, composed of CRC rookies,
managed to snag a trophy last month in the Beginner class.
I've only done the one CRC rallye, but based on that I can offer some handy
tips:
- Bring a strong flashlight. A highlighter, for marking up the instructions,
is very useful.
- Thorough understanding of the rules (and especially which rules supercede
other rules, which was the key consideration of the "Field of
Dweebs" rallye) is more important than a fast start. Take your time;
you've got plenty.
- Don't assume typos in the directions are, in fact, typos. More likely
they're deliberate traps.
- If you're missing some information, ask the Rallye Master. We did that,
and were handed an extra clue that only teams that asked ever saw.
- When in doubt, the correct answer to a "Did you see?" question
is more likely No than Yes.
- The Wheels Team's excellent Web site, http://wheelsrallyeteam.com, gives
you a great overview of rallying, contains carloads of good information, and
even includes five online road-rallye games to play.
The next rallye, which takes place Saturday in Schaumburg, is designed
loosely around a Harry Potter theme. (Thorough knowledge of Harry Potter
lore is neither necessary nor particularly advantageous.)
I'll be the one in the Dumbledore hat.
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pvettel@tribune.com